happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
we made out on top of his cat.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
