The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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