drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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