Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
