woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
