my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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