I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
