he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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