I'm lost and stupid without you.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
she told me i tasted like america
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
