Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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