I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
