nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
