so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
