There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
