I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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