I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
