So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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