I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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