I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
