no, he came in my armpit
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
