I accidentally burped into my bong.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
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You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
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After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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