you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
