it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
