just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
