Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
