We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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