I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
