i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
