Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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