Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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