Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize