True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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