I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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