so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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