I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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