I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
