People in love make me want to vomit
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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