she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
