What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
