Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You're like the curious george of whores
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
