Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
