Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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