i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
