dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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