Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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