Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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