It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
