It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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