She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Mom said you looked used
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
