Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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