They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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