he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
