I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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