You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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