so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
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I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
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I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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