On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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