happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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