$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
so much tequila, so little girl.
When are your genitals available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize